“…the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:21-24).
This constitutes the creation and institution of God joined marriage, and inherent in the process of “leaving and cleaving” is the necessity of loving affection. In fact, God consistently inspired the writers of the Bible to include love as foundational for marriage whenever they spoke and wrote of it (Song of Solomon 1-8; Matthew 19:1ff; Ephesians 5:22ff; Titus 2:4). Love, though, in the minds of many is a relative term. In the Bible it is not, because it represents love only in its fullness and perfection. However, in order to aid man in his understanding of God’s expectations, the Bible at times illustrates those expectations. This is the case in Ephesians 5:25 where Paul wrote, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” What the inspired writer does here is present a standard by which marital love is to be measured. Husbands are to love their wives “even as” Christ loves His church. “Even as” is translated from a single Greek term which literally means “just” or “inasmuch.” It carries with it the idea that our love is to be as equal as is possible to that of Christ. Therefore the love we reciprocate in marriage from husband to wife and wife to husband is to be “even as” great and glorious as the love Christ has for His church. But how much is “even as”?
“Even as” is greater than self-will. Man’s self-will is saturated with convenience, which inherently is not evil. If given the choice between convenience and inconvenience, void of iniquity, convenience is the obvious and opportunistic choice. However, when we enter the marriage bond, the convenience of self-will is not always an available choice. Common in wedding vows is the promise to abide with one another “for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, and for richer or for poorer.” I wonder how many recite these vows never believing the “worse, sickness, and poorer” will ever arise in their marriage. Many, seemingly, assume that health, wealth, and happiness will always prevail; thus when the inconveniences do occur they feel unprepared and overwhelmed and often forsake their partner. If we are going to love our spouses “even as” Christ loved the church, then we are going to love void of self-will. Rather than a selfish love, we will have a selfless love. Legion are the examples of Christ’s selfless love seen in His earthly sojourn as He professed to be concerned solely with His Father’s will and the good of the lost souls of the world (Matthew 6:10; 12:50;26:39; John 5:30,34; 6:39; Galatians 1:4). And it is further evident that there is little that Jesus did that could be called convenient and nothing that could be called selfish. Thus if we love “even as” Christ, our love will be greater than self-will.
“Even as” is greater than social demands. Husbands and wives, like anybody else, are members of society; and accompanying that membership come the demands of work, friends, co-workers, hobbies, etc. Each of these are good and important to the development of a well-rounded individual, but none of them can be a stumbling-block to the Divine bond of marriage. Because if we are going to love “even as” Christ, our spouses must be second to nothing and no one save God. Jesus allowed nothing and no one to detract Him from His affection-based mission for His bride, the church, even though society tried its best to knock Him off track (Hebrews 2:18). And if we are going to love “even as” Christ, our love will also be greater than social demands.
“Even as” is greater than life itself. The verses that portray the sacrificial nature of Christ’s love are countless (John 3:16; Ephesians 5:25; Hebrews 10:1-18; I John 3:16, et. al.). He considered nothing too great to suffer for the protective care of His bride because He viewed her safety as more precious than His own life. Such must be characteristic of the love that husbands have for their wives. In fact, to the oft asked question “how do I know if she is the one,” the question might be well asked, “would you die for her.” The answer to the latter answers the former. True love is sacrificial, even to the extent of life itself as illustrated by Christ. So if we are to love “even as” Christ, our love will be greater than life itself.
Can such a love “even as” that exhibited by Christ truly be felt and expressed today? Without a doubt! For if such were not possible, God could not demand such of all spouses throughout the world. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…” (Ephesians 5:25).
