Any casual glance through a local bookstore will testify to the desire we have to improve our various stations of life. There are manuals to provide instruction for the improvement of finances, health, houses, cars, etc. Some have little worth while others contain much more constructive advice. However, of the many areas that many people are seeking to improve, it is sad that so relatively few are seeking to better their marriages. Divorce rates have skyrocketed while the reasons for divorce have become more and more frivolous. Marriage has become such a matter of little importance to some people that they enter a marriage anticipating its failure and their eventual remarriage to another. Why is it that we have people planning on what to do when their marriages fail instead of planning what to do to improve their marriages so they do not fail in the first place? The blame must eventually fall upon a faulty memory. Why, say you, is the problem a faulty memory? Because marriages fail when we forget what marriage is truly supposed to be. Our marriages could be marvelous, but only if we make them that way. We can improve our marriages by improving our memories. How?
By remembering the intention of marriage. Marriage has numerous purposes. When it was first instituted it is clear God intended it as a means of companionship (Genesis 2:18). Additionally marriage was purposed with procreation in mind, as God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, replenishing the earth (Genesis 1:28). There is the obvious fact that marriage is a means by which to fulfill fleshly desires (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:2). However, in a very general way, marriage is an opportunity for man to receive and reciprocate something that we all need—love. And we’re not just talking about any kind of love. Friends love each other. But there is a very special bond of affection that exists in marriage that cannot and does not exist anywhere else. It is the chance to share every aspect of life with another and for them to share every aspect of their life in return. But, especially is it about a love reciprocated between man and woman that is a reflection of a mutual love for God and a desire to receive the heavenly blessings eternity has in store. Yes, if we, as husbands and wives, truly love each other as God has intended it will result in His eternal purpose (Ephesians 3:10-11); our redemption. And so at the very foundation, we find marriage is an adjunct to God’s desire for us to be saved. If we will remember that original intention of marriage, we truly will work to make our marriages marvelous.
By remembering the intimacy of marriage. Present in marriage are liberties that exist in no other relationship on earth. “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). In the confines of marriage exists the blessings of intimacy. And it must be remembered that God expects those blessings to be enjoyed only within the framework of a scripturally authorized marriage. Husbands and wives are expected to maintain a monogamous intimate relationship as an outgrowth of their love one for another, never seeking another with which to satisfy these desires. A beautiful picture of this type of satisfaction with one’s mate is seen in the Song of Solomon as Solomon and his Shulamite bride express their total desire for only each other. She was totally smitten with him and he was totally smitten with her, and no other could take the place of their beloved. This type of marital commitment is so totally different from the meager attempts put forth by so many couples today. If we would but remember the true intimacy of marriage we could make our marriages marvelous.
By remembering the Institutor of marriage. Marriage came from God. The marital relationship is not the product of a social evolution. It was not something that was developed as man recognized his own needs. The institution of marriage came from God (Genesis 2:22-24). It was the result of God’s recognition of man’s need and lovingly provided as a means to an end. And it is therefore the case that no marriage will be completely successful unless both participants remember God. It has often been pointed out in wedding ceremonies that any successful marriage will include not only two but three persons. There must be the husband and wife, but included each time must be God. If He is not the foundation of a marriage then it will surely crumble. If His word does not serve as the primary marriage manual then it will surely fail. But by remembering God, the Institutor of marriage, we can and will make our marriages marvelous.
A car does not have to be broken down for us to work and maintain its well-being, and neither must our marriages. We should be ever conscious of how delicate these relationships and our mates in these relationships are and rightly work daily to strengthen and build upon the bonds of marriage. If we will make this commitment for ourselves, our spouses, and our God, then our marriages will truly be made marvelous.
-Andy Brewer