A commuter was overheard telling his seatmate, “Actually, my mother-in-law and I have a lot in common. We both wish my wife had married someone else.” While our immediate response might be to snicker at such a thought, upon deeper reflection this statement only illustrates an attitude that I fear I permeating our society. Too many marriages merely exist – nothing more. Maybe people married because of why they believed was love but over time they allowed that love to run stale. Maybe love was completely abandoned so instead of allowing that marriage to thrive they had to resign to just letting it survive. But heaven originated marriage and heaven has told us what is necessary to have heavenly marriages.
Title: A Marriage Made in Heaven
Text: 1 Peter 3:7
Main Point: Many passages discuss the parameters of a godly marriages but perhaps none in a more precise manner than 1 Peter 3:7: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” If our world were truly interested in knowing how marriages can not only survive but work as God intended we would turn our attention to the inspired advice provided by Peter.
Discussion:
§ Successful Marriages Demand Habitation – Husbands must “dwell with” their wives. This is much more than cohabitation – it is a unification. It is about two unique individuals who put away their individuality for the purpose of becoming one (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6). I have heard it put that “all of life is about showing up” – in others words, being there. One of the most essential aspects of a successful, godly marriage is about being there. Husbands and wives must be committed to presence in one another’s lives. Family is more than just multiple individuals residing in the same house, it is about dwelling with one another in love and unity.
§ Successful Marriages Demand Education – Husbands must dwell with their wives “according to knowledge…” The dating process is about learning. Men and women learn who each other is, their interests, their hopes, their dreams, their aspirations, etc. However, too often when that relationship culminates in marriage that pursuit of knowledge ends. We become satisfied in relationships and tend to not put forth the save degree of effort as before. Relationships can get into such a rut that no romance is displayed or even expected on either side. However, if spouses would be continually committed to dwelling with one another in knowledge the relationship will remain strong and succeed.
§ Successfully Marriages Demand Appreciation – Husbands must dwell with their wives according to knowledge “giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel…” Do husbands and wives value one another – are they priceless or worthless? Specific instruction is given to husbands here to show appreciation to their wives in a special way, as unto a weaker vessel. This is not a reference to intellectual strength, moral strength, or spiritual strength. This is a reference to her physical strength. A man could misuse his physical strength and be overbearing and many have. But instead the husband is to humble himself to be a servant to his wife, to show true appreciation for all that she does. This may appear to conflict with directives like Ephesians 5:22ff which declare the husband to be the head and wives to be submissive. However, those passages say nothing of the husband’s will superceding his wife’s. It simply means he guides it in the best manner possible which often may exclude his own personal will, sacrificed for the sake of the wife’s. Partners who want their marriage to work properly show appreciation to one another instead of deriding and demeaning one another to their own detriment.
§ Successful Marriages Demand Cooperation – Husbands must dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, “and being heirs together of the grace of life…” The purpose of any marriage ultimately should be to help one another get to heaven. That means if I’m looking for someone to marry one day a primary qualification is someone who can help me get to heaven. That means if I’m already married one of my primary commitments is to help my spouse get to heaven. If at all possible those efforts should be cooperative so that the spouses can together be heirs of the grace of life. The unity into which man and woman enter at marriage must be threefold: physical, emotional, and spiritual. That spiritual unity will include unit of purpose (Ephesians 5:28). True love dictates that not only a couple wants the best for each other physically, but spiritually as well. It is a cooperative effort with heaven in mind.
§ Successful Marriage Demands Supplication – Husbands must dwell with their wives according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and being heirs together of the grace of life; “that your prayers be not hindered.” Couples that pray together stay together. Prayer is not only a way that man can connect with God but it is a way that man can connect with God but with one another (2 Timothy 1:3). How do you think it made Timothy feel to know that he had the prayers of another? When we pray with one another and for one another it strengthens our spirit and our resolve together. How must a wife feel to know her husband prays for her because he prays with her? We must be given to prayer without ceasing, not just personally but coupled together with our mates. It will truly make our marriages those made in heaven!
-Andy Brewer
God (I think) also meant for a man and a woman to show that they love their spouse. when they are in public. A touch on a shoulder or a smile just for them, an arm around their shoulder. Just little things. It might just be me, but I appreciate seeing this type of affection. I know this sounds silly but in this world we have to show our love, there is so little of it most of the time.