An Open Letter to Parents as School Begins

Dear Mom and Dad,

Though I’ve been a parent for a few years now, this is the first year I can really identify with you. You see up to this year we’ve kind of had it easy. The kids have been too young for school, we’ve been blessed that Mom has had the option to stay at home and not have to deal with work responsibilities in the midst of us raising the girls, and this has allowed us to keep our focus on faith and family a little bit easier than with most.

Tomorrow that all changes. Tomorrow Kenadie starts kindergarten and the life to which we have grown accustomed will never be the same. We’ll no longer have the flexibility to do things the way we’ve done them before and that will put that focus in jeopardy. So believe me, what I’m fixing to say is not intended to be critical or accusatory but a plea for us all to be diligent in preventing certain behaviors.

The school year always presents a unique challenge of balancing the responsibilities that our children face at school along with extracurricular activities, social pass times with friends, and trying to maintain some degree of sanity at home. That’s already a lot to juggle – but notice that in the midst of everything that I’ve already mentioned that can easily monopolize every waking minute between August and May I have not yet even mentioned the most important obligation they have. That is the obligation they should have to God and their soul.

You see, sometimes I wonder if the spiritual neglect we notice in our children sometimes isn’t as much a matter of spiritual indifference as much as it is simply a matter of the immediate demands of life blinding them to the long term needs of their souls. But how does this involve you? It’s our job as parents to slow our children down and point them in the right direction. Homework and studying for that big test are important, but they’re not more important than Bible study and personal devotion with God. Extracurricular activities are great, but we can’t afford for them to consume our lives so much that they trump church services and church related activities. Having an active social life is good in the proper context, but it is not more important than keeping the family bond and our bond with God strong.

But what can we do? I mean, after all, our kids have minds of their own and they have the right to live their lives the way they want to, right? Wrong. They do have minds of their own and they should have the freedom to choose certain paths in life within some very narrow boundaries. But children are in a purely submissive position in the home. They are told to give honor to and obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1-3). Therefore godly parents have a lot they can do to focus the attention of their children. But it requires that they lead and not be led.

And so parents, if I could offer one prayer for us all as the school year begins it would be that we all would narrow our attention on what matters the most, and by narrowing our attention then forcefully focus our kids’ attention on the same. Could it mean that we have to tell our children “no” sometimes? Yes. Will it mean that they’ll be mad at us? Absolutely. But is it necessary for their spiritual and eternal well-being? Without a doubt! We just have to ask ourselves “what is more important?” Is it more important that our children participate in everything, engage in every social activity, go to every game, and spend every available moment with their friends to the neglect of their soul; or is it more important that their focus be narrowed on God and one day go to heaven? I think we all know the answer to that. The only question is what we, as parents, are going to do about it?”

Pray for us. We are praying for you.

-Andy