My earliest memory is from when I was two years-old. We had gone on vacation to Washington D.C. and as best as I can remember we were walking around Arlington Cemetery one day. If you’ve ever been to Arlington Cemetery you know just how much walking is involved, but needless to say it was far too much for a two year-old to handle.
I don’t know how long it was into our time there but I just couldn’t walk anymore. So Dad scooped me up and put me on his shoulders and carried me around the rest of our time there. By any normal standard it was nothing extraordinary, but it was apparently pretty special. I’ve remembered it for all these years.
So much of parenting in the 21st century can get caught up in the big things. Birthday presents, vacations, special outings, Christmas surprises, etc. And that is all well and good. But I hope that parents and children alike remember that it’s really the little things in life that last. Long after the toys have been forgotten, after the newness wears off, after the surprises are over – it will be the small gestures of love that will mean the most. Make each one of them count.
Dad died a year ago today. And in the twelve months since he’s been gone there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that hasn’t made me appreciate more and more who he was and what all he was able to accomplish. A year later we still hear friends tell their favorite stories and reveal their favorite memories and I assume that will continue. But from the conversation he made sure we had the night I started my first real job (working for someone else) to the night he sat me and Brad down in our bedroom floor and studied the Bible with us because we were old enough to start thinking about becoming Christians, it will be the little things that he (and Mom) did in our lives that I will remember the most.
I hope that fathers (and mothers alike) will remember that the greatest gift we can give to our children is our time. That might mean not putting in the overtime we think we need one week. It might mean not watching that ballgame we’ve been looking forward to all season. Maybe it means we put down the phone/tablet long enough to pay attention to something our children are saying or doing, regardless of how nonsensical or irrelevant we may think it is in the moment. When we give our children the gift of time, attention, and love we leave an impression that helps to mold them for a lifetime.
In Ephesians 5:15-16 Paul wrote that we should “walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” I know that Paul’s thought is directed toward how we are to redeem the time as Christians, but I think it is more broadly true regarding all of our responsibilities. That could be no truer than regarding our responsibilities as parents. I thank God that Dad redeemed his time to do what he could to help his family get to heaven. I only pray that I’m successful in my efforts to do the same.
-Andy Brewer