“This girl right here is my world my heart and she means the whole world to me. I’m so glad I’m yours and I will never let you go. I can’t wait to be in your arms and I hope you never let go cause I’m yours and your mine. I love you so baby. You make me so happy. I would be nothing without you. You complete me. I love you so much ______________________. You are always in my heart!!”
The above was written on Facebook by a 13-year-old boy accompanying a picture of his girlfriend. Cute, right? I mean beyond the grammar problems and misspelled words. Tributes like this aren’t uncommon among young people who have been dating for several months, even a year or two. But interestingly by their own admission these two had been dating around 36 hours. Yes, you heard me. That degree of commitment and undying love developed over the period of a day and a half.
I know. To a degree it’s innocent. This type of infatuation is fairly common. I’ve particularly seen it at youth camps, church and otherwise. Boys and girls pair off, hold hands, eat together, and by the end of the week are naming their future children. Then Friday comes, they go home, and virtually forget about one another. These feelings largely work themselves out and cause nothing but short-lived broken hearts.
I wonder, though, if that degenerative meaning of love isn’t having a greater effect on how we make decisions regarding major relationships like marriage. I’m essentially thinking out loud right now so bear with me, but isn’t it true that many of the issues our society faces regarding marriage revolve the meaning of love?
How is it that husbands and wives fall in love only to experience their first hurdle in life together and decide they don’t really love each other so much after all. When people fall in and out of love I have to question if they were ever really in love. Could it possibly be the case that the degenerative view they had of love when they were young never matured? Maybe they based their relationship not so much on love as they did infatuation. Then when the new wore off they realized they didn’t really “love” each other as much as they thought.
The Bible, though, clearly spells out what true love is all about. Paul identified the love that is to define the marriage relationship as the same type of love that Christ has for His church (Ephesians 5:25). It is a sacrificial love. A love that forgives, compromises, and denies self is the type of love that lasts. When we are young I guess we are capable of that type of love but it seems to be rare. Instead we mistake a passing interest as heartfelt emotion and use words like “love” when we’re nowhere close to it even being on the radar. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and tell me that definition applies to every relationship that claims to be defined by love.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not opposed to young men and young women enjoying each other’s company in a modest and wholesome way. I’m not condemning dating or anything of that nature. What I am saying is that we need to better educate people around us, young and not so young alike, to know what love really is. Our understanding of love, like everything else in life, has got to mature or else marriage and other relationships dependent on love are going to continue to fail.
By the way, the young couple I referred to at the beginning, the one’s who were each others’ world, who loved each other so much, and were never going to let each other go – within 2-3 days I noticed it was already over. Chalk up another casualty to a degenerative meaning of love.
-Andy